Did you expect a a dramatic intro, with me reflecting on these past few weeks? Well, hate to break it to you, but this isn't that kind of blog post. I'm going to be direct and post how things are going at this moment. Instead of doing a solid recap.
Well, in terms of the core 3 aspects of my life, I'd say 2/3 are ok and the 3rd one is on life support. Job related work things and personal growth are going well. Love life is nowhere to be found. It left the building, burned it down, and decided to jump in a corvette, speeding off into the sunset.
One day, I'd like to fully accept that people in my past are just that. They are the past. If they were meant to affect my future or help it, they would have popped up by now. Or is it my own downfall that I don't ever take the initiative? Gees, you have to do everything in life yourself, right?
At the time of typing, a couple of goals have intertwined with my path of personal growth. I'm learning Unity(again), brushing up on my graphic design work, and working out. Working out began as a journey to improve my personal appearance (to get the females to notice me) but once I accepted I should just do it for myself, it became more manageable. Because I've been running myself ragged, this week I'm sticking to workout stuff at home. Let's see how that goes.
You may comment, " Well, if you're goofing off all the time, you'll never better your career or improve your love life!" You're not completely wrong about that. Yes, I should constantly be doing things to improve these aspects of my life, but working this long in the workforce has made me realize an important thing. As with anything, balance is key.
Yes, you can work every single day of your life. Always pushing yourself to do better, but what's the point if your colleagues all move on. Or the company you're working for has a ceiling? I'm talking no promotion available, you're expendable, and there is a cap on the paygrade. Well, that's the boat I am stuck on. I know it won't last forever, but in the mean time it pays the bills and helps me not be completely lazy.
I want to design things and draw every single day of the week, but I know I can't. This is why my job will fuel my funding for these things. Plus, if I want to extend into the more creative areas, such as podcasting, writing, video editing, etc., I will need funding for all of these things.
The key is to stay busy. Always keep focused ahead. Even if I'm goofing off for a week and doing nothing, it's still something. There's purpose behind it. I am resting for an entire week to let my body recharge. In my downtime, I'll be creating things(design or artwork wise) and honing my own abilities to meditate and be humble.
Humbleness is a big theme in my exodus. It has helped me focus on what I need to worry about and help me embrace my solidarity of being on my own. I don't have to constantly be around people to seek fulfillment.
Lastly, I'll wrap this post up with a visual image of some sort and this thought. There will always be a day when you are fed up with staying quiet about who you are, what you feel, what you want to do. And when you decide you've had enough, you can finally start living your life. Tell people how you feel about them. Embrace your own insecurities and champion your own strengths. Be proud you want an intelligent conversation vs. having a short attention span to social media. And if you have an opinion that everyone does not like, speak 1000 times louder. Let them know that you stand by it.
Take me for example. Realistically, I don't think fame nor fortune will ever cross my path, but I will strive toward it. I will be successful in living a fulfilled life, with or without a family of my own. I want to go to sleep at the end of the day knowing that what I'm doing now is a stepping stone to a bigger end game. And every step matters, even if it's a baby step.
As Sam and Dean would do, it's time to hit the road to the next adventure. And keep pressing forward.
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