Hey world! So, I'm trying something new this time. Yes, it's still about me ranting about the things going on in my life, but here's the kicker: I'll have 30 minutes to finish and it'll all be a story narrative instead of first person mode. It's good to switch things up from time to time, so let's give it a shot! Go!
Charle awoke from his slumber, feeling the dread of his aging soreness, questioning where it came from in the first place. After surviving the annual chaos of graduation day in his college town, he retired to his living quarters for some well deserved sleep.
To spare the readers too much boring details, Charle was invited to many events yesterday. Several of them involved working out, numerous get together events and parties for graduation, and ultimately doing nothing at his apartment. Instead of doing everything, Charle stuck with doing nothing. It wasn't the most exciting thing for his night, but things would progress later. And it would work out for him.
To Charle's dismay of recapping previous events that have progressed, he is going to type them out anyways. He believes this is the best way to get over himself and move on with his darn life, even if he looks at it later in disgust. In order to move forward, Charle needs perspective while looking back and his thoughts in the past.
Graduation day harbors feelings of insecurity for Charle because of many reasons. First, he is slapped in the face with what he has been doing for the past 2 years of his life if he hasn't worked for a better job yet. Second, if he claims to have improved his confidence and gained the support of many friends, why is his incompetence talking to attractive women worse than the ratings of Batman vs. Superman?
Charle wants answers, but does realize it will never be that easy. He has learned at this point, he has to stop whining about nothing ever goes his way and just go for it. It's easier for him to hide in cowardice at rejection or get comfortable at his current job, but he knows it's not his end game. He wants things to improve but he has an awful work ethic. He knows what he loves in life and is in a constant battle with balancing the need to have a successful career while not having the personality of a dried potato.
The entirety of this journey hasn't been all bad though. Charle has renewed his interest in Humans vs. Zombies, when he was well beyond his days at college. He's found confidence in himself as a leader and opened his mind to so many new friendships because of this.
There's a pretty awesome girl that he'd like to ask out on a date someday, but he's terrified of the aftermath. It's to the point where he has prolonged it for almost a year and heavy competition has entered the playing field. What stands between him and his right to move on is closure, and Charle is the worst at doing this.
Before we revisit the recent topic Charle is talking about, he'll jump over to discussion of his career. Charle feels that his time is coming to an end with his current job, but he is hitting a wall. Does he want to advance in the company to other positions to further his resume? Or should he devote all of his energies to finding a different job, that offers more advances to his career and financial stability?
Another thing that Charle is concerned about is his artwork and writing. He has so many thoughts and ideas swimming around his head, endless as the oceans of the world. But the thing holding him back is the world will not accept what he puts out there. They will bash on it and it will never meet the full expectations of what others think of him. This leads to Charle losing much self esteem and just wanting to give up on being a decent graphic designer in general.
Not all is lost for our young hero, Charle. For all the setbacks he's been through, there has been good. The friendships he has established these past 2 years have been vital for his personal growth. He has always despised change, but it's a catalyst that pushes through with what life throws at him. Charle doesn't need to fully understand why things happen as they are. He just needs to get with the program and know that at each instance of his life, he has a chance to affect how it turns out. He needs to push himself and stop worrying about what others will think of his life at the moment and keep going.
And as many times as Charle doesn't want to compare himself to others, it happens. He looks at the success of other people and beats himself up knowing if he would have made his work ethic more disciplined, he would be right up there with him. But then another epiphany hits him: Does he want to set on the path many others are on? Or should he just go with where he is and see where it leads him?
Charle needs to understand that no one is going through what he is going through. And others are on a separate path from his. That's why he is still unsure about growing close to others. He wants to make new friends and forge new relationships, but he doesn't know how long it will last. They could pack up their bags and move out tomorrow, but life would still move on. Knowing this, Charle sticks to his philosophy of playing it by ear.
As Charle glanced at his phone with the timer for this prompt, he felt the need to type quicker to get back o the topic that he has been infatuated with: his crush. Charle can't honestly say he thinks she is "the one" but wants closure to this part of his life. He has already even predicted why it's doomed to fail between he and his crush, but he still charges on. Because somewhere in him is speaking to him saying this girl is worth it. Even if it doesn't fully work out, she has left a positive impact on his life that he can carry on with him until the next chapter begins.
Charle will hate building resentment toward his prospect if things don't fully work out. He's got to be honest with himself, or continue living a lie. Ultimately, Charle wishes he could stop being such a coward and express how he really felt about this awesome girl and that connecting with her outside of their usual meeting place would be enlightening for him.
This crush of Charle's seems to accept his awkward nature and his generally good mannered spirit. She's not like most girls, and finds her sense of sarcasm endearing and playfully charming. He doesn't know how things will end up playing out, but as he's brought on his legion of friends for advice with this, it's time to rip the band aid off. She either likes him and things can expand. Or not, she gets with Captain Mcd#$%^&*(! and he focuses solely on his career, keeping his distance from her.
He doesn't fully mean this as an insulting manner, but this is the only way to get over her.
And with that, Charle ends this post with some thoughtful last words:
Whatever you're doing now, you're investing for your future. The one person you have to help yourself is you, Charle. Everything that's happening can be changed by your actions today, 10 minutes from now, tomorrow, and what happens 5 years from now. You have to continue taking that step forward, no matter how tired you are and keep going. And don't let fear hold you back. We're all terrified of something, but that hasn't stopped us before. Until next time.
Charle
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