What's up Internet world? Because all of us are crunched on time these days, I'll give you a TLDR summary of events that have passed:
1. New Job.
2. Love life still a joke.
3.Meeting new people. No one friend level yet.
4.Steps have been taken to find career-based job.
5.Still the darkest timeline.
6.End of summary list.
It's easy to forget when you're rushing through life to take perspective of things. Then those things lead you to become envious of your colleagues, friends, relatives, etc. because they are more successful than you. You look at your life and the joke it has become and just can't stop shaking your head in disappointment. "What the hell happened to you?" is what you ask yourself every day after the last big chapter in your life.
You wanted to hope that things would be different. Once you graduated, the job offers would flood from the heavens, and life would be easier. But it isn't. The economy still sucks as much as it did 5 years ago and complaining about everything isn't going to fix the problem.
Which brings me back to the first paragraph. It may appear selfish for me to focus only on my life, career, and things that I love doing, but I've learned it's necessary. It's necessary because if I become absolutely obsessed with how others are doing, I forget that I need to keep going and not stop going toward my goals.
The best analogy any guy out there will relate to is when you see a pretty girl. You have intentions of beating your chest, sucking in your gut, and with your silver tongue, entice her with words that will win at least a cup of coffee with her. But alas, not everything works this way. Curveballs will be thrown, shot, and peppered at you, forcing you to flee in retreat, regret, and disappointment. You say one wrong thing, convey the incorrect body language, or they notice something different about you they absolutely don't like, and it's game over. In reality, it is nothing lost, but I honestly see it as time I will not get back.
After the experience, you will bounce back, but it may take a little bit to do that. You forget that big presentation you were working on. Or applying persistently for all of the jobs that you wanted. One event can throw off your entire work flow and then it's back to square one.
This happens to me a lot. I get wrapped up in the euphoria of living a great life, then I get hit in the face by a solid, flame engulfed hammer, bringing me to a complete halt in my mindset. This throws me off the path I first set on and it sets me back significantly. I forget to take care of myself and focus on my goals, and end up hating myself later because I don't have things other people already have.
And it sucks. It truly does. Because that brief moment of happiness(whether it is a person, thing, belief, event, idea, etc) is temporary, it's not something consistent. You have to work for happiness. Hard work is part of the foundation for success.
I'm the worst at a lot of things. I tell myself all the time I'll work on new video or design projects, but then beat myself up later when I look at the work out there on the Internet I'll never reach. It shouldn't matter. I should create things for the sake of creation and let criticism play itself out. But I don't do that. I'm critical of my work and that's my excuse for me lacking the push to create more things.
Right now, my life isn't all that bad, but it's not what I want. I want a better career, a boss that actually cares about the work I've done, and an atmosphere where my mind can continue to grow. I hate that I have these human emotions that worry about "finding the love of my life" or "wanting to be happy as other people around me." It makes me disgusted. I have to stop comparing myself to others and focus on myself. If I keep worrying about how to achieve the success of others, I will hate myself for copying others' happiness. Because it isn't mine and I can't own up to it.
So this is a reality check for me. No more comparing myself to others, expecting pity from friends/family/acquaintances about my suckish life, and how it will never get better. I am in control of my own fate and it is what I make of it. If I sit here and complain about it never changing, it will never change. If I decide to put that behind me, own up to my actions, and push forth and focus solely on improving myself, jealousy will never cross my mind ever again. I'll be wrapped up in my own life that I can focus on that instead.
(I'll test run this new "thing" in future posts now)
Future self: If you're glancing back at old blog posts and run past this one, listen closely. Stop making excuses. Stop looking at others for pity and incubating jealousy. God didn't give you all this time to waste it feeling sorry about yourself. Make this moment as the day you continued to stop worrying about what others thought of you or what they did, but focus on who you are and what you're doing every single waking second to improve who you are. Let everyone worry about their own lives. I'm not saying become a mindless, sociopath drone, but keep perspective that they aren't in control of your own life. You are. And the rest will work itself out.(Cryptic, but trust me :)
And lastly, no matter what happens, never change who you are. It's ok to adjust in certain situations, but remember what made you who you are today. If others don't like it, then sucks to suck!
