Forge your own path.

What's up Internet world? Because all of us are crunched on time these days, I'll give you a TLDR summary of events that have passed:
1. New Job.
2. Love life still a joke.
3.Meeting new people. No one friend level yet.
4.Steps have been taken to find career-based job.
5.Still the darkest timeline.
6.End of summary list.

It's easy to forget when you're rushing through life to take perspective of things. Then those things lead you to become envious of your colleagues, friends, relatives, etc. because they are more successful than you. You look at your life and the joke it has become and just can't stop shaking your head in disappointment. "What the hell happened to you?" is what you ask yourself every day after the last big chapter in your life.

You wanted to hope that things would be different. Once you graduated, the job offers would flood from the heavens, and life would be easier. But it isn't. The economy still sucks as much as it did 5 years ago and complaining about everything isn't going to fix the problem.

Which brings me back to the first paragraph. It may appear selfish for me to focus only on my life, career, and things that I love doing, but I've learned it's necessary. It's necessary because if I become absolutely obsessed with how others are doing, I forget that I need to keep going and not stop going toward my goals.

The best analogy any guy out there will relate to is when you see a pretty girl. You have intentions of beating your chest, sucking in your gut, and with your silver tongue, entice her with words that will win at least a cup of coffee with her. But alas, not everything works this way. Curveballs will be thrown, shot, and peppered at you, forcing you to flee in retreat, regret, and disappointment. You say one wrong thing, convey the incorrect body language, or they notice something different about you they absolutely don't like, and it's game over. In reality, it is nothing lost, but I honestly see it as time I will not get back.

After the experience, you will bounce back, but it may take a little bit to do that. You forget that big presentation you were working on. Or applying persistently for all of the jobs that you wanted. One event can throw off your entire work flow and then it's back to square one.

This happens to me a lot. I get wrapped up in the euphoria of living a great life, then I get hit in the face by a solid, flame engulfed hammer, bringing me to a complete halt in my mindset. This throws me off the path I first set on and it sets me back significantly. I forget to take care of myself and focus on my goals, and end up hating myself later because I don't have things other people already have.

And it sucks. It truly does. Because that brief moment of happiness(whether it is a person, thing, belief, event, idea, etc) is temporary, it's not something consistent. You have to work for happiness. Hard work is part of the foundation for success.

I'm the worst at a lot of things. I tell myself all the time I'll work on new video or design projects, but then beat myself up later when I look at the work out there on the Internet I'll never reach. It shouldn't matter. I should create things for the sake of creation and let criticism play itself out. But I don't do that. I'm critical of my work and that's my excuse for me lacking the push to create more things.

Right now, my life isn't all that bad, but it's not what I want. I want a better career, a boss that actually cares about the work I've done, and an atmosphere where my mind can continue to grow. I hate that I have these human emotions that worry about "finding the love of my life" or "wanting to be happy as other people around me." It makes me disgusted. I have to stop comparing myself to others and focus on myself. If I keep worrying about how to achieve the success of others, I will hate myself for copying others' happiness. Because it isn't mine and I can't own up to it.

So this is a reality check for me. No more comparing myself to others, expecting pity from friends/family/acquaintances about my suckish life, and how it will never get better. I am in control of my own fate and it is what I make of it. If I sit here and complain about it never changing, it will never change. If I decide to put that behind me, own up to my actions, and push forth and focus solely on improving myself, jealousy will never cross my mind ever again. I'll be wrapped up in my own life that I can focus on that instead.

(I'll test run this new "thing" in future posts now)
Future self: If you're glancing back at old blog posts and run past this one, listen closely. Stop making excuses. Stop looking at others for pity and incubating jealousy. God didn't give you all this time to waste it feeling sorry about yourself. Make this moment as the day you continued to stop worrying about what others thought of you or what they did, but focus on who you are and what you're doing every single waking second to improve who you are. Let everyone worry about their own lives. I'm not saying become a mindless, sociopath drone, but keep perspective that they aren't in control of your own life. You are. And the rest will work itself out.(Cryptic, but trust me :)

And lastly, no matter what happens, never change who you are. It's ok to adjust in certain situations, but remember what made you who you are today. If others don't like it, then sucks to suck!

The Next Chapter

Hello Internet. I haven't written for you in a while. I can't say it's been easy to find time to write either. Between jobs, hanging out with real people, trying to go on friend dates, and all that fun stuff, life just doesn't want to let up. But isn't that how it's supposed to go?

When we last joined our hero(me), I was 1 month or a couple weeks out from graduation. Now it's 2015. I still don't have my hover-board (damn it!), robotic sidekick, or Iron-Man technology, but I'm still standing. And alive. That's what should count right?

It is February of the new year. 2015. 2014 shot by fast, I had experienced so much, but haven't even begun to start my grand adventure. There were some big change-ups for me this year, but I faced them with optimism into the unknown.

It's 2015 and we still don't have these everywhere. What is wrong with us?!

I won't take a lot of time to go over this, but the "next chapter" in my life I'm going to describe is my career. You have to understand, it's been about 8 months since I graduated college and I hadn't found a job that fit my calling. I was still the same Joe-Schmo, working 9-5 at a retail store with awesome coworkers. Well, at least most of them.

I would say God had orchestrated things to finally happen for me. Whether it was finally get a friend date with the cute girl at work, get a job call back from another awesome retail store, or just finally pushing me to get out of comfort zone, I couldn't deny bigger things were changing.

I think it all started when my friend, we'll call him George for this story, decided to leave work. He left for his family and possibly his career. It'll help him out in the long run, but I miss him terribly. When I first started my job at my current retail store, I had no one to talk to. George took me in under his wing, taught me everything to know on the job, and I grew as a person and an employee because of him. Yes, there were other workers that are badasses that helped me learn everything I needed to know on the job, but George was a sensei to me. And a great friend. He has been upgraded to best-friend status as of this writing.

George wasn't any older than me, but he had more experience working at the retail store. He knew how to handle certain people that didn't get along with me, as well as the insane customers that came in every day wanting or demanding a specific product we may or may not have. With every new challenge, George and I faced it together.

That is until he put in his 2 weeks....

Fast forward to now, he moved to his new place, picked up another job, but he still stays in touch. I can't thank him enough for going through the hurdles with me at work and giving me solid advice on things when I really needed. I would hope it was a mutual thing and I could help him out when he needed it too.

That's just the tip of the iceberg of what was going on. The instant he left, I felt things would never be the same. Some people stayed stagnant, others were extremely sad like I was to the departure of George. There needs to be more Georges out there. And soon too. I hope in my new job I meet another George.

Which brings me to my new job. Yes, I've been finally hired to join the big leagues at another retail store. No, they don't sell bibles and porno all in the same store. I think they're more classy that way. They focus on electronics and lots of expensive toys. Is this a problem for me? Not at all. In fact, I look forward to it.

I've been quite emotional these past couple of days because it's the end of an era for me. Retail store 1 was where I thought I was going to advance my career and climb the ladder. And go to Wizard-Con as many times as I could before I couldn't' walk anymore. Alas, fate wasn't pushing me this way. I believe there is an alternate universe where I can work both retail stores, go to comic con and get tons of money to pay off everything I need to. In a perfect world right?

This about sums up what I've been feeling these past weeks.

I've made a ton of friends at Retail Store 1 and learned a lot about life. No, I won't be seeing them as often, but I feel this is finally my next chapter, (as the title suggests). I'll go into detail(of course)

I usually hit this rut same time every year where everyone I know is going through their own stages of life. Friends I would hang out with constantly are not as available anymore to hang. This has pushed me to try other venues or reach out to other friends, who aren't complete weirdos. Some other friends would become fathers, have babies, or even get married. Or maybe all of the above and below. The main point is, everyone is moving forward in their lives. Even the treacherous coworker of mine that has hated my existence since day 1 at retail store 1. It's OK. I forgive you. I'm a big boy and when you get a real job(not retail store 1) you're welcome to act your age and not discriminate against fellow employees. If you never evolve into a more mature person, then God have mercy on your soul. Anyways....

This next chapter of my life is my next job. Yes, I'll always miss this current job, but I'm getting more money, possibly a 5 year career, and a new pool of friends. I would compare this to meeting a new tribe or lion pride in the wild. I am a lone lion, maybe surviving from another pack of lions that wanted me out or survived poaching from them damn hunters. I find another one, but most of the new lions snarl at me. What can I do? I make the best of what I can and I fit in with them. I learn everything I possibly can about this new pride, chain of command, tactics, strategy, and anything else I can absorb in my noggin and I become the best noobie I can.

Why? Because humans as a whole are on a never-ending quest for knowledge. And since I have no girlfriend, pet(not yet!) and real career yet, this is what I'm going all in for. And it's something that makes sense to me.

I've also taken the mission to learn more about my friend's personal business. He will take me on part time and if it evolves into something more beautiful, I won't fight it. I might learn all I can about his business and help him out when he really needs it. Plus, it will make things easier on him since he's about to be a father soon. I'm happy for him, but this is also his next chapter of life. I wasn't accepting of him raising a family so quickly, but it's just a part of life now. He will have me as a friend always, but his family will always come first. And I can't fault him for that.

This post is mainly to vent all the remaining feelings I have of change. It doesn't get easier adjusting to new things, or letting go of old friends,habits, environments, jobs, etc. It just means that with society always pushing itself to the next level, we have to adapt or remain depressed forever, longing for the old days of simpler times. And instead of bitching all day about how I miss how things were and what they could have been, I'm stuck with this universe. Things were already in motion long ago, and no matter how hard I tried to fight or avoid them, there was no turning back.

As I've mentioned a bunch at work, this new job could be a great opportunity for my career financially. Or it could blow back up in my face. I think of this scenario running parallel to my situation:

He's hopping that bus to play in the minor leagues, then eventually the NHL if things work out right. For me, I'm going to a new retail store job, but it's a different league for me. I've taken all this experience I've gained over the past 3 years and putting it to good use at this new job. And hopefully, going all in will make things easier in the long run. More money, new friends, and a brighter future are what I'm looking forward to.

I honestly can't think of anything else to spit out in this post. It might be a while before I post again, but I consider blogging therapeutic for me. Hopefully it won't be another full year before I blog again.

Later gators!