The trivial trials of a single guy

Me and this big guy aren't too different. He enjoys simple things and so do I.

Today, I think I'm going to try something different. Something to shake things up a bit. In the past, I've always been inclined to hold back my true thoughts about a specific topic, but after talking to my good friend at daneatscatfood.com, I feel it's the right time to not hold back anymore. The worst that can happen is someone I know finds my blog, comments about how insensitive I am(as one would say) and we all move on with our lives. And for once, I'm OK with that.

My topic for today I will be discussing is the topic of women in general. To men, we spend most of our lives doing just about everything we can to attract the opposite sex, whether it learn to juggle chainsaws or land that sweet executive job at a fortune 500 company. But why do we worry about things like this? Wouldn't it be fair to say that people should just "accept people for who they are?" Hahaha I made a funny in case you didn't understand sarcasm.

Let's start with a great example. My love life. It's nonexistent, and in some alternate reality(where I'm also Batman) I'm happier, have a wonderful and loving wife that is awesome, and I'm successful. Well, in this reality, I don't have any of that. I still am by myself, sort of content with how things are going, and trying to live day by day with some interest.

Readers, please don't mistaken this for a "condition of depression" because I've been through that phase in my early xanga phases. And yes, I go through and read my diluted scribbles of my past teen angst, but it's all irrelevant now. At the time, my priorities were laughable and I had waay less confidence that I do now, along with a nice objective hindsight into more important issues.

Now back to the tangent I was on before: Ever since God created me and put me on this Earth 25 years ago, I've done just what every person has done: adapt and survive. When I was younger( as far as my memory serves) I was a social butterfly. I talked to everyone and anyone I could, I had a limitless imagination and I felt that nothing could hold me back(besides probably an imaginary monster of some sort?) 

Fast forward 10+ years and some things have changed, but not always for the better. I went through the usual phases of "Hey look at me! I'm cool! I'm on a sports team and everyone should give me attention!" to "meh, I think I'll just do what makes me happy" later on in life. As a discretion, I don't hate the typical "jock" typecast. It just seems pushed in our culture that if one doesn't assume an alpha male position that you will never get anywhere in life, end up alone, and might as well die right there.

...Of course that's the worst case scenario. Nothing is ever set in stone in life, and that is the beauty in our lives. Moving on...

Where are you going with this Charle? Why should I keep reading this boring post about how unsuccessful with women you are? You're just like every other guy out there with some "ill conceived agenda to sweep women off their feet" *cue evil laugh here.

Back to my earlier statement that "socializing fear was irrelevant to me when I was younger" that power came to a screeching halt when it came to girls. Yes, puberty took a metal bat and hit me in the face and next thing I was thinking "Woah! Boobs are awesome!" similar to every other 15 year old guy my age.

Yes, girls were difficult to talk to me back then. And not much has changed. I've had a tendency to be over analytical in situations, but sometimes fate has played in my favor. And besides dodging this topic with more metaphors, I'll get to the point: I'm a frustrated single ethnic guy that wish there were some book or clear way of knowing how to decipher this intricate society that we call "women". If that were the case, life would be so much more SIMPLE!

But Charle, it's you're fault. You're socially inept because you don't try hard enough. You don't put yourself out there, connect with others and would rather engorge yourself in the lifestyle of an otaku hobbit. That is why all the men in the world are getting married or having children on the fly. You're the one that controls your own fate and you chose not to be proactive.

...Yes and no. First off, may I entertain you with the idea that it works both ways? Communication is a vital asset in our society, but things like Facebook and social media have watered it down quite far from where we all used to be. Nowadays, we have to "Facebook stalk" someone to know who they are, what they're about and other things.

It's convenient for me to pick up a phone or hop on the computer and look up someone. Yes, and that is much better than actually forming human connections with each other(*sarcasm to the max)

Well, it's a bunch of hoopla. I have learned, thus far in my debacles within the world of women, that there is always a double standard. As me and Daneatscatfood.com have talked about, going up to a random girl that you believe is attractive and complimenting them is a dying art. There is a common mindset that most women that are approached from strangers should be on the offensive and fear the worse, for they will be harmed and men are evil!

...*shakes head... uh it's stuff like this that makes it harder for guys like me to find "the right one." Or even continue the search to find the right one.

And brings me to another point. Don't you just love that proxy answer from happy couples that you know that tell you that on a couples infested venue or holiday? It would be easier to say " Hey having a girlfriend rocks and it's way better than video games!" See, that wasn't so hard.

It's direct and simple too. That's how I wish the world was. I like an attractive girl. I go up to her, tell her it's a crime that some guy hasn't asked you out yet or that you're not married, and  ask her to hang out sometime and done deal. Easy right? Ha, if only...

This post's inspiration originally stemmed from everyone around me being involved in a more "intimate relationship" with someone they know. I had a best friend from high school that usually swore off getting into relationships, but the instant he found an attractive girl he could make out with on command, he said adios amigo and here I am today. Not exactly deserted me, but I know things will not be back to how they were.

In all honesty, it sucks being alone. I could whine about it all day, but I'm really the only person that has control over it myself. I hit this rut not too long ago after my father passed away, always thinking that no one was around to talk to (with exception of God) and I had to face the world by myself. It is something I don't wish upon anyone and hope one can find a better remedy to get over it.

It all boils down to me wanting a girlfriend. Yes, I've been defeated by my 18 year old self(who was angry at the world and also desired a girlfriend) It would be awesome, the companionship would be great, and I am 25. I only have so much time left before my window shuts completely and I die alone.

But why is it such a big deal to me now? If you talked to me maybe 4 months ago, I was perfectly fine with being single. There are no attachments, I could game as hard as I wanted to, and I didn't have to impress anyone but myself. Then, there was another era of goals. As people around me became happier or more oriented with real goals in their life, this resonated to my own life and made me realize that I want that happiness too!

Ha, so much for being a black sheep and wandering off on my own. I want acceptance, security, love, and companionship just like every other human being on this Earth too! Hooray for realizing that(sarcasm)

I will never know if my life will pan out and I'll be able to overtake alternate universe Charle's life one day, with the beautiful and loving wife, awesome job, and legion of friends, but I will go for it. Life is what you make of it and instead of moping around complaining " I'm single and alone! And stuck in a glass case of emotion!" I should quit worrying so much and do something about it.

If given the opportunity, would I decline to having an attractive lady friend to hang out with at reasonable times? No, not at all. I think it would be awesome if that were to happen. Though, I've learned thus far in life that God likes to utilize the "pacing and long wait" strategy for my love life. Usually, the best things that happen to me are when I don't think too hard about it. And it feels so much more sweeter when that happens.

As agitated as I am taking this route in my life, I will go with it. God hasn't let me down before, though there have been questionable times, but in the long run, it's always paid off for me to wait and just keep being the good person I set out to be.

And that folks, is the end of my rant about being single. Maybe one day I'll revisit this topic, but hopefully this post was cohesive enough to understand or at least comprehend my frustrations of being a single guy with high morality and following the path of God.

Later!